KKVT or "I'll take 'Make me look stupid' for 800, Alex"
There's no secret about the Kerry campaign being on the ropes at this point.
Having blind quotes from the Kerry campaign confirm this is not really necessary to make any judgement of the truth of this. The polls are showing it and the press is starting to admit it. So it's interesting that there is so much willingness by anonymous staffers (to many different journalists) to undercut their own campaign by directly contradicting the things surrogates say in the press.
It shows a lot about Kerry's team building skills, and leadership ability. I won't even bother to contrast them to blind quotes from the Bush campaign. I know both campaigns have staffers with contacts in the media and both sides have blind quotes coming out of their camps, but the tenor of the quotes is markedly different. The blind quotes from Kerry staffers like the one in this none-too-kind article
by the Prowler (himself a blind source, yes we go deeper in to the speculative mysteries and wonder of a world without end...) made me think of Washington Celebrity Jeopardy which was on TV yesterday. (hat tip to KerryHaters
and several others for having this first. I'm too lazy to track down all the other blind quotes I've noted like this)
Bob Woodward, Peggy Noonan and Tucker Carlson all faced off for charity. It was interesting for many reasons, but the fact that the questions were(mostly) easy made how fast each contestant rang in the crucial contest.
There was clear discomfort from anyone who didn't ring in first because there was no way to stop the proceedings and turn to the audience and reassure them that they knew that one,and they could have answered it easily. It was obvious that it wasn't the points or the money; it was not appearing to be the stuff SNL skits are made of that was important to them.
Woodward seemed to be less concerned with it but I noted Carlson and Noonan displaying body language when they weren't able to answer that I attributed to wanting to convey that they were robbed. After the first commercial break (and a couple embarrassments) both were holding their buzzers at chest level (visible to the audience) and constantly clicking them. "Look!" they were saying, "Any question I don't answer is only because my click wasn't registered first! No matter what the appearance here is, I'm not stupid!".
This is similar to what I think the staffers handing out blind quotes like condoms in public schools that admit how messed up things are in the campaign are doing, in effect. No one has much loyalty to Kerry personally and they are writing him off as a bad mistake. They will stay until the end but only as a duty to their party and not because they are behind Kerry at all. No one on the inside is going to be much surprised to lose this contest.
This shows Kerry's team building skills and it makes you wonder exactly how he treats his support people. The unattributed scorn seems only to exist to reassure skeptical media and their BS detector equipped readers that they know
things look bad and whatever you think, they aren't insane or stupid. They see reality and they probably feel really screwed that they all got on this ship of fools. It's no longer as important to some of them to support the flimsy talking points floated on the news shows and in their convention as it is to let everyone know they aren't stupid or amoral when it comes to the truth even though they know that to everyone watching it must appear so.
It made me wonder about when Senator Kerry runs for re-election in the Senate if there will be a group emerge known as Kerry Kampaign Vets for Truth.
In fact, someone ought to collect all the negative-to-Kerry blind quotes in one place and call it KKVT. I've seen them all over the place and it can't be the same guy leaking to all these different journalists. I'm going to have to start collecting them, but you're free to use the idea if you're motivated to...
posted by M@ at 11:56 AM
Ha, and double ha! Giuliani is a straight speaking funny guy. For all the criticism by the press for moderates running the show, this night is going very very well. Giuliani for Senate!
posted by M@ at 10:02 PM
Cracks in yer frickin walls
Listening to the RNC on the radio...McCain is speaking now
Ha, Senator McCain just called out Michael Moore and the crowd went wild...
McCain is making a hell of a case for the WoT and more importantly the WoIraq.
This is a very good speech, and I expect the press will praise it highly. If only begrudgingly...
posted by M@ at 9:21 PM
I wish I had cable TV this week
It's going to be a strange week, newswise. The strange stuff is only beginning to happen. The unintentional comedy of the Kerry campaign and its die-hard supporters rolls on. This almost makes up for the failed attempts they have made at applied comedy, which is not the only thing wrong with Big Comedy these days anyway. By contrast, Bush has got himself a crack unit and is looking very good when the WoT is the topic. This is going to translate in to some funny Fark headlines.
I am noting that a few of the RNC bloggers are having trouble
getting net access, for various reasons. That's not a surprise, but you'd think there would be more WiFi access...
I have been showing up at TransTerrestrial Musings
, and I blogrolled them but they are worth mentioning here, since you probably came here looking for a blog more similar to theirs ;)
Thanks to KerryHaters
, both of whom sent a bunch of hits our way yesterday.
I also stumbled on and blogrolled Quentin Tarantino's weblog
. I am fairly convinced it is actually him and not a joke blog. I hope it really is, because his rant against CGI is right on.
I am too lazy to tell you what I think, even if I thought you cared. So
posted by M@ at 1:09 PM
Rocking the vote at the VMA (warning, acronyms ahead)
Hmm, what should we make of this story
I would say this is the Mother of All Backlashes(MOAB) for ruining the Daily Show.
And Drudge radio also says Kerry will be speaking next week during the RNC at the VFW. I say WTF JFK. And you, get the bill.
posted by M@ at 11:09 PM
Shades of the British GP!
It's the same
guy! His sign said something about Israel and the bible. Blah blah.
NBC news has zoomed in on the protester's sign and determined what it said. I missed the exact wording but it appears the new fashion fad for disruptive protesters is obvious. I will be keeping an eye out during the RNC coverage this week...
I'm watching the Olympic marathon event and some guy in full Scottish garb just ran on the course and grabbed one of the runners, a Brazilian named Lima. Lima was pushed, resisting, all the way in to the crowd, which meted out justice. I immediately thought of this event
and wondered what the story is behind this latest one. Do we need to start profiling dudes in kilts at sporting events? What does this mean? And what is the connection to Karl Rove?
It's a shame, and I will be interested to hear more about it. I'm googling to find out if these are two isolated incidents or if we should start blogging about the Kilted Kabal...
posted by M@ at 12:03 PM
Ha, well done
This will be repeated as if Bush made an admission of guilt
, I am sure, but I see it as an ability to humbly state the truth. Of course, Bush never went around stating he was more heroic than Kerry, but it's quite a concession according to the normal rules of campaigning, ie give nothing up that might sound helpful to the opponent.
Oh, look though! It makes the *rest* of what a guy says seem so much more...
when he does that. The truth admitted without a single bit of wiggle! What a brilliant idea! Take a tip, John Kerry. You'll want to emulate this when you write your concession speech.
posted by M@ at 7:23 AM
Blue lights shot out of my keyboard...
Last night was pretty wild, in that a storm came through and was acting up with the electricity. I ended up driving around in it with a buddy for a while, after I lost the ability to sign on. There was some flooding going on, so of course we had to go venture out in it. And yes, a lightnight strike crackling blue light out of your computer with a loud *pop* sound is startling. It must have scrambled something in my ethernet card, because I replaced the fried out cable modem this morning and that didn't fix things until I hooked it up through USB. I'm no expert on ethernet cards though and I'm happy just to be able to feed the addiction.
Has anyone noticed that John O'neill's quote to Nixon about being in Cambodia, near Cambodia is almost the exact wording Tad Devine and other surrogates have used when "answering" charges about it? I kept thinking to myself Hey, he said John Kerry was in Cambodia, near Cambodia! He is answering yes/no and no one is calling him on it!. Then the O'neill quote came out and I thought hmmm maybe the Kerry Kamp was answering that question in that wording intentionally for a different reason than I originally guessed. Maybe they wanted to give the impression that it was common to state generally that you were "in Cambodia" when you were just near it. You can just about tell exactly when the Kerry campaign became aware that the O'neill quote was out there, because the surrogates who talked about it all used the same language. "John Kerry was in Cambodia, near Cambodia blah blah blah." Sneaky, sneaky! I'll have to track down some quotes for comparison. Notably this happened on the Meet the Press I blogged about a few entries below. I'm not trying to make this into something, I just think it's interesting...
In the meantime, Take That Afghanistan
posted by M@ at 2:52 PM
Blue lights shot out of my keyboard...
Last night was pretty wild, in that a storm came through and was acting up with the electricity. I ended up driving around in it with a buddy for a while, after I lost the ability to sign on. There was some flooding going on, so of course we had to go venture out in it. And yes, a lightnight strike crackling blue light out of your computer with a loud *pop* sound is startling. It must have scrambled something in my ethernet card, because I replaced the fried out cable modem this morning and that didn't fix things until I hooked it up through USB. I'm no expert on ethernet cards though and I'm happy just to be able to feed the addiction.
Has anyone noticed that John O'neill's quote to Nixon about being in Cambodia, near Cambodia is almost the exact wording Tad Devine and other surrogates have used when "answering" charges about it? I kept thinking to myself Hey, he said John Kerry was in Cambodia, near Cambodia! He is answering yes/no and no one is calling him on it!. Then the O'neill quote came out and I though hmmm maybe the Kerry Kamp was answering that question in that wording intentionally for a different reason that I originally guessed. Maybe they wanted to give the impression that it was common to state generally that you were "in Cambodia" when you were just near it. Sneaky, sneaky! I'll have to track down some quotes for comparison.
In the meantime, Take That Afghanistan
posted by M@ at 2:48 PM
Doin' the Bus Stop (chicane)
I'm so glad F1 is able to get back to Spa-Francorchamps
for a race this year. Between the laptimes being predicted to fall dramatically and Michael Schumacher being able to clinch the Driver's Championship there on Sunday it should be exciting in any case. It's a great track though, and one of my favorites to pretend to drive (This should be listed on my tombstone: He loved to pretend he was driving). The fastest turn in F1 is back though, and everyone agrees Eau Rouge can be taken flat out this year.
Adding to the excitement is a bet made with the elder Nawtin of ten bones that MS will not win every remaining race in the season. I figure something is bound to happen and over the remaining races, versus the field, something will keep him from winning at least one.
I'm not supremely confident that I will win though, and won't be surprised at all if I ended up making a stupid bet. But my chances seem better to me than most betting I have ever done based on figuring my own odds. Generally I suck at predicting what will happen, hence my lack of betting experience. Thank you to society for halting natural selection in its bid to determine people like me unfit for predicting and adapting to reality, btw. I always figure there are better odds that I don't know what I'm talking about than whatever odds I give the thing of actually happening. So this is really shrewd statistical analysis right? Don't bet=win. I have now broken that rule of thumb and I guess that tilts the odds in favor of me being wrong, statistically.
posted by M@ at 2:48 PM
Well done satire
Ah, Reason. A buddy sent me this link
and I realized immediately I should link to it and bury my last post a bit. Sorry about blockquoting so much Kerry babble. I'll try and edit him down next time. I'm still laughin...
Also these chopped up sound bites set to flash at Rainbow Animations
posted by M@ at 11:38 PM
You can learn a lot from a dummy
I just watched Kerry's Senate testimony at the Fullbright hearings in '71. C-Span online
deserves top ten ranking on the internet.
I thought the best part was when Senator Case, a Democrat, obsequiously asks for Kerry's opinion about the real reason we were in Vietnam-to fight communism:
Senator Case: Thank you, Mr. Chairman
Strategic Implication of Vietnam War
Mr. Kerry, thank you too for coming. You have made more than clear something that I think always has been true: that the war never had any justification in terms of Indochina itself. I wish you would take this question a little further and touch on the larger strategic implications. It is in these larger strategic implications, if anywhere, that may be found justification for our involvement. As you know, the President said the other day that it is easy to get out and to end the war immediately.
The question is to get out and leave a reasonable chance for lasting peace. We have to look at this because the American people are going to see the issue in the terms he has defined it. I would be glad to have your comment on this matter, although I won't press you to discus it because in a sense you have already said this is not your area.
Mr. Kerry: I do want to. I want to very much.
Senator Case: And I would be very glad to have you do it.
Mr. Kerry: Thank you, sir. I would like to very much.
In my opinion, what we are trying to do, as the President talks about getting out with a semblance of honor is simply whitewashing ourselves. On the question of getting out with some semblance for peace, as a man who has fought there, I am trying to say that this policy has no chance for peace. You don't have a chance for peace when you arm the people of another country and tell them they can fight a war. That is even criminal in the sense that their country, if we are really worried about recrimination, is going to have to someday face up to the fact that we convinced a certain number of people, perhaps hundred of thousands, perhaps there will be several million, that they could stand up to something which they couldn't and ultimately will face the recrimination of the fact that their lives in addition to all the lives at this point, will be on our conscience. I don't think it is a question of peace at all. What we are doing is very, very, hypocritical in our withdrawal, and we really should face up to that.
O...k. So we should never have encouraged the Vietnamese to fight against communism in the first place. And it will be our fault when they are punished for having stood against it. It's criminal to have given them guns to do this. Of course we know from his earlier words and later on the Dick Cavett show that he believes fervently in the goodwill of our enemies. He believes that our POWs will be immediately sent home, no locals will be in trouble once we are gone, and life will be flowers.
But this doesn't seem to be exactly what Case was fishing for. Though Kerry has given an honest answer, Case draws him out more. He seems to be wanting to bash something from a recent Nixon speech or something, just for points. Anyway, Case asks for general comments about whether Nixon was right, that the broad American interest in Vietnam was world peace. Kerry takes this opportunity to expand from merely trusting Vietnamese communists, but trusting communists everywhere. There was really no threat at all, unless you count the U.S. The number of times Kerry emphasized the word criminal
when speaking about the U.S. versus the number of times he cast mass murdering dictators in favorable light in his earlier testimony and elsewhere is...criminal
. In fact, he seems to think that until Canada and Mexico fall we shouldn't even break a sweat. In fact, as he is winding down he says it's all the same, democracy, communism and benevolent dictatorship(wtf?)so long as we feel our needs are met. In fact, he says democracy is not meeting the needs of the people and maybe a change is comin'. He says that any time an actual threat were to arrive at our shores he would be the first to take up arms, but he seems to downplay almost completely the idea that communism showing up at our shores might be
such a threat. Then he takes a shot a capitalism too. I have no idea if Case got exactly or way more than he wanted here, but this long winded tirade seems awfully...idiotic in retrospect:
Senator Case: May I press you just a little further or at least raise the question on which I would ask you to comment.
Mr. Kerry: I wish you would, please.
Senator Case: I think your answer was related still to the question of Indochina, but I think the President has tried to tie in Indochina with the question of world peace.
Mr. Kerry: I would like to discuss that.
It is my opinion that the United States is still reacting in very much the 1945 mood and postwar cold-war period when we reacted to the forces which were at work in World War II and came out of it with this paranoia about the Russians and how the world was going to be divided up between the super powers, and the foreign policy of John Foster Dulles which was responsible for the creation of the SEATO treaty, which was, in fact, a direct reaction to this so-called Communist monolith. And I think we are reacting under cold-war precepts which are no longer applicable.
I say that because so long as we have the kind of strike force we have, and I am not party to the secret statistics which you gentlemen have here, but as long as we have the ones which we of the public know we have, I think we have a strike force of such capability and I think we have a strike force simply in our Polaris submarines, in the 62 or some Polaris submarines, which are constantly roaming around under the sea. And I know as a Navy man that underwater detection is the hardest kind in the world, and they have not perfected it, that we have the ability to destroy the human race. Why do we have to, therefore, consider and keep considering threats?
At any time that an actual threat is posed to this country or to the security and freedom I will be one of the first people to pick up a gun and defend it, but right now we are reacting with paranoia to this question of peace and the people taking over the world. I think if we are ever going to get down to the question of dropping those bombs most of us in my generation simply don't want to be alive afterwards because of the kind of world that it would be with mutations and the genetic probabilities of freaks and everything else.
Therefore, I think it is ridiculous to assume we have to play this power game based on total warfare. I think there will be guerilla wars and I think we must have a capability to fight those. And we may have to fight them somewhere based on legitimate threats and that is what I would say to this question of world peace. I think it is bogus, totally artificial. There is no threat. The Communists are not about to take over our McDonald hamburger stands. (Laughter)
Senator, I will say this. I think that politically, historically, the one thing that people try to do, that society is structured on as a whole, is an attempt to satisfy their felt needs, and you can satisfy those needs with almost any kind of political structure, giving it one name or the other. In this name it is democratic; in other it is communism; in others it is benevolent dictatorship. As long as those needs are satisfied, that structure will exist.
But when you start to neglect those needs, people will start to demand a new structure, and that, to me, is the only threat that this country faces now, because we are not responding to the needs and we are not responding to them because we work on these old cold-war precepts and because we have not woken up to realizing what is happening in the United States of America.
Senator Case: I thank you very much. I wanted you to have a chance to respond to the question of Indochina in a large context.
Well, I could go on forever but I really just wanted an excuse to click submit on the Ping-o-matic. heh.
posted by M@ at 8:54 PM
Boot to the head
I heard Tom Leykis found out that it's a small world after all. He got booted in the head
while in Seattle, apparently by a guy who Leykis was rude to. Having felt the urge to unleash physical violence on people like Leykis (up to and including Leykis) I at first cheered. A little bit of schadenfreude, a little bit of clapping for karma winning a point.
But then I had a sobering thought: this will only impede the rights of ordinary people like you and me to clock obstinate assholes in the face. Hitting a man with a forum like a radio show or a tv show is about as dumb as hitting a lawyer.
I admit to the urge to hit people (I have it frequently) but I rarely, if ever, act on it. One of the men alleged in the incident purported to have been previously insulted by Mr. Leykis. On the radio. In all probability it would have gone down the same way if there had been no interlude from radio call-in to personal run-in. If the whole exchange had happened in an elevator, Leykis would still be sporting a new "open mind" heh yes i keeeed. So It's possible that this incident will prompt Leykis to watch his mouth, but I doubt it. His show is predicated on saying inflammatory things and getting people that call in to react angrily. If he had a less obnoxious voice for doing that with, I don't think he would use it. I guess what I'm saying is that without planning subsequent follow up beatings...these guys should never have bothered.
posted by M@ at 4:11 PM
Bleeding Kansas, and the truth about chiggers
I found out a couple days ago that you can't learn the history of Eastern Kansas on-site without also learning a thing or two about being bitten by chiggers. I mean, these things itch like a nicotine patch. Coming home and learning more about chiggers is something I don't necessarily recommend, but I have done it. I read this
, and resolved to shudder every time I think of it. The link is there for the curious but trust me, you will be horrified.
So it was a fun filled day, starting at dawn in the local park to check out the deer. I came home with so much free literature from historical sites that I don't think I can really detail everything we saw. I'll throw down some links if you are for some reason interested in knowing more. The civil war era was the setting of all these places when they made their history worth putting up a sign and opening a gift shop about. The Bleeding Kansas time period though, wow things were just nuts around here. I didn't realize what national implications these things had when I learned them in school. There is so much more interesting to it than it used to seem, during Kansas Spirit week at the public school.
- Battle of Mine Creek, where 2500 Union soldiers kicked the asses of 8000 Confederates from Missouri. Soundly and quickly, too. One is tempted to search here and below for reasons Kansans talk shit on Misery. I personally think it's how badly they drive, but I am not originally from here.
- Marais Des Cygnes Massacre site, this was where I think I got the chiggers. A bunch of filthy bastards from Misery came over the state line and killed and wounded 11 innocent Kansans, in an act that can only be described as terrorism. For as much national outcry as this incident sparked, it is sort of weird that there is almost jack crap there to see. The place is hidden and basically closed and in disuse. Some signs are there, some vandalism, and a closed house/museum. Quite an interesting story though. Hard to imagine the guys that survived by pretending to be dead. That meantdropping to the ground and laying still in chiggerville.
- Fort Scott, which is a National Historic Site. It has an interesting story as well, and if you are bored and close it's not a bad place to spend an hour or two. The renovated buildings have some interesting exhibits of life back in the day, and walking around in them made it easy to imagine a bit of what life was like back then. In a word, shitty.
There was much more seen, and much more done and discussed but I just don't want to go on forever about it. I still haven't said anything about the air museum tour, which deserves its spot because I actually took pictures that I can post. I really need to do that, and preferably before I go on the next excursion. But at least this one is out of my system.
posted by M@ at 9:25 AM
Remember when the Daily Show used to make fun of spin?
I guess John Stewart and John Kerry cleared up the whole Cambodia thing, the purple hearts thing AND the flip-flopping last night.
I didn't watch it because its pretty much a disgusting use of comedy that I think shows that the Daily Show has gotten a little off task: making fun of the news or making the news, the line has been blurry for a long time at the Daily Show. I guess it's lucky that most of the people who watch the Daily Show do so because of a healthy disrespect for bullshit (Yes, they will notice that this was bullshit but I don't know if it will be before Nov. 3) and a healthy apetite for humor. The viewers that actually will go vote who only watch the Daily Show for political news is a low number, I am guesing. Everyone else who was not already voting for Kerry will be pretty much dumbfounded by his claims that he wants to talk about the issues but makes his appearance on a fake news show to answer legitimate charges from Vets he served with.
I just don't think Kerry is funny, and the Daily Shows that have politicians guesting as if their message were the latest movie they were self-promoting are just not funny.
I'll give Stewart credit for everything he's done smart and funny but he is frankly ruining the important thing about the venue: Biting humor from the outside, based on being immune to the slimy bullshit perpetrated by politicians and newsmen.
Letting Kerry come on and creating this whole elitist humor of snickering at anyone who would even suggest that all those times Kerry added weight to his political statements with lies might deserve a little bit of investigation is just...just...fake
fake news. I am not outraged or anything, because they've been doing this for a while. I've seen the clips and I've seen the quotes. What used to be daring and cutting edge is now just a funnier version of Jay Leno. That's my only beef, and that's why I'm not linking to anything about it. I'm sure it's the only thing your TV will fucking play, no matter what network you're watching, for days. Why? Oh, only place Kerry will go to answer questions, and it's a lot more presentable than his lackluster stump speeches at places that don't really welcome him.
posted by M@ at 8:06 AM
I am watching Meet The Press right now and Russert actually brought up Cambodia. I like Russert, though really he could have pushed a lot harder. I assume he didn't think Tad Devine was going to give any answer than the ones he gave but so far it's quite a bit more friendly to the truth than in most places. That despite Tad Devine appearing on the show.
I will have some pics to post from my trip to the Downtown Airport last week but I have to figure out the stupid Hello program first. I tried using it this morning and it seems to be sooooo easy to use that I couldn't figure out how to use it.
Back to the network news commentary on color TV though...even though we all know that's not going to inform
me so much as it will entertain
posted by M@ at 8:29 AM
Maybe there is a scavenger hunt on?
Well, that's my best guess.
Munch's The Scream has been stolen
. Again. Second time in ten years. Yeah, after the first time they might have added...oh I dunno...alarms, or maybe made it a little harder to take them off the wall. They got Madonna too, but I didn't know he painted her. If it was anything but her in her "material girl" days, I don't care. Heh. At any rate, I wonder if they already had a buyer or if we should start checking e-bay. It couldn't have been a happy person.
Maybe it was militant hollywood lawyers who were tired of their cease and desist letters being ignored. Hmmm, any guess who the suspects are? BTW, Macauley Culkin's image is NOT reproducible without express, written consent. 'Cept on the net.
posted by M@ at 7:50 AM
I hope everyone who sees this realizes
I read the whole thing and my opinion hasn't changed. I can't bring myself to give this person the satisfaction of treating their arguments as worth refuting. Someone else has already done it better I am sure and if I come across it I will post. That said, I think their attempt at showing liberals how to start winning arguments againts conservatives ended up giving a great example of why their first sentence is correct.
Popdex had this article
linked as number 8 today. Hmmm, Phil Agre
. An associate professor at UCLA. I know so little about him/her that I am confused by a google search that turns up saying that Phil is referred to in both the male and female pronoun. I will use the plural herewith to avoid offending (not very conservative I know, but I am a softie). I link to it to the delight of any of our leftish readers maybe, but as a conservative I find their views on the subject of what *I* am as one and what kinds of things I believe and how insane they are to be pretty...laughable. I am sure everyone else will blog this if I am not already days and days late but it's demagogish leftist sounding propaganda to me. As with most spurious polemics, I think their first sentence is correct:
"Liberals in the United States have been losing political debates to conservatives for a quarter century."
From there, though, it gets much more willing to dip into Carville sounding hysterical ad hominem. I'm not even done reading it yet but I question whether it even deserves the copious refutation it will be given by any clear thinking individual. And be forewarned, that is
how you will be judged as rational or not should we discuss it later.
I'm sick of having fringe idiots get center stage, and here I am linking him to you. I know you might cheer anytime someone tells you they are but "speaking truth to power" but reading it, it sounded so similar to the invectives and hate filled crazy talk that I was discussing among friends about Reverend Fred Phelps, who shall remain linkless (by virtue of, I assume, no argument as to whether he is correct about homosexuals being evil and hellbound and deserving of scorn), that I thought 'man this lady is an associate professor?' At a place that is supposedly intolerant of hate speech cloaked in pseudoscientific words and riddled with just...just...garbage
such that if *I* turned in a paper like this I *should* be warned and severely graded. And rightly so.
This. is. just. drivel.
I can't really even bring myself to type any more about it. But read it as much as you can stand to, consider me, and then ask yourself: Is M@ really the kind of guy to go for something like this? Are the conservative people I personally know really a part of some sinister cabal of deceptive and oppressive elitists? Is it a good thing to have this person titling things they write authoritatively as "What is Conservatism and What is Wrong With It?" ? I submit to you, the answer is: No.
posted by M@ at 4:06 AM
Probably a good idea
Here's a good idea
, and I should be adding a button the next time I get off my ass* and take the time to get some images hosted.
Movin' On Up:
Congratulations to a few certain someones spending their first night in their new rooms. Feelin tired and wore out is your body's way of telling you what you just did was worth it ;) Anyway, now thatcho fish don't fry in the kitchen anjo beans don't burn on the grill, I hope we get to see some pics.
*does not require getting off actual ass, and is not meant to imply or endorse any actual off-getting of ass
posted by M@ at 3:35 AM
Hand me down my walkin' cane
I have no car for the next day or so. I used to walk a whole lot more before I was driving and I kind of enjoy having to. I am not against cars in any way but having one is an expensive pain in the ass. Not having one is only a pain in the ass. It's tempting. This
is tempting too, to be fair.
I started (as if I were going to keep going until I finished, but ha-ha) reading the Federalist Papers
, which is one of those things it is nice to have online. I began, of course, at #1
. Alexander Hamilton is writing the State of New York urging them to keep cool heads during the coming constitutional debating and ratifying. It struck me that you could read the whole thing as an admonishment of people today if only you ignored that it was written in the late 1700s and you changed the word 'Constitution' with 'President'. I'm sure this isn't the first time someone stumbled on how relevant the Federalist papers are to things going on today, but it was uncanny. I had checked out a little about Hamilton this year on the anniversary of the Hamilton-Burr duel, and it's a shame he considered participating a shootout a matter of honor but not shooting to win. Ah well, at least he wrote and said all kinds of well reasoned things in the meantime. I could have posted the whole thing here, but this was the most clearly relevant to me:
And yet, however just these sentiments will be allowed to be, we have already sufficient indications that it will happen in this as in all former cases of great national discussion. A torrent of angry and malignant passions will be let loose. To judge from the conduct of the opposite parties, we shall be led to conclude that they will mutually hope to evince the justness of their opinions, and to increase the number of their converts by the loudness of their declamations and the bitterness of their invectives. An enlightened zeal for the energy and efficiency of government will be stigmatized as the offspring of a temper fond of despotic power and hostile to the principles of liberty. An over-scrupulous jealousy of danger to the rights of the people, which is more commonly the fault of the head than of the heart, will be represented as mere pretense and artifice, the stale bait for popularity at the expense of the public good. It will be forgotten, on the one hand, that jealousy is the usual concomitant of love, and that the noble enthusiasm of liberty is apt to be infected with a spirit of narrow and illiberal distrust. On the other hand, it will be equally forgotten that the vigor of government is essential to the security of liberty; that, in the contemplation of a sound and well-informed judgment, their interest can never be separated; and that a dangerous ambition more often lurks behind the specious mask of zeal for the rights of the people than under the forbidden appearance of zeal for the firmness and efficiency of government. History will teach us that the former has been found a much more certain road to the introduction of despotism than the latter, and that of those men who have overturned the liberties of republics, the greatest number have begun their career by paying an obsequious court to the people; commencing demagogues, and ending tyrants.
Wow...I'm sure that speaks for itself, but go read or reread the whole thing if you're interested.
more later, i have to walk to the store and see what the crime is really like on my streets at almost 2am. Wish me luck!
posted by M@ at 1:40 AM
On the fly
Yes, I've been lax. And yes, I am going to leave you wanting even more than when you come here and I have a long and well thought out post. Sorry. I have had a bit of cold lately, and am now leaving to go drop off my car at the night drop to get a little work. Having a friend that is a mechanic makes it almost impossible to ignore maintenance issues. sigh. Also I need to start searing - searing things into my brain, because all the topics I had thought of to write about vanished into the ether like so much Kerry rhetoric when faced with new and contradictory Kerry rhetoric.
So check back, and I promise you'll have a morsel of thought. No guarantees on filling your apetite though.
posted by M@ at 8:52 PM
see you next tuesday
who hasn't worked with one? she's giddy when things go wrong. she damn near has an orgasm when she has to deliver bad news to the boss (provided of course that it's bad news about someone else) she's the 400 lb accountant with pasty skin and beady eyes set way back in her doughy flesh who sits at her desk with half a dozen donuts every morning, complaining about her weight, her lack of a boyfriend, and her frustration at being 40+ years old and still living with her parents.
no offense to any of you out there who fit this description as you're reading this, but come on. get off your fucking fat dying asses for fucking fuck sake and get over it already. so he fucking broke your heart. or she did. or whatever it was that happened 3 fucking million years ago that makes you the bitter old crone that you are today. The Incident that makes you hell-bent on causing everyone around you a lifetime of agony and suffering the likes of which haven't been seen since satan was cast from heaven and the bowels of hell were formed and yea, verily, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
for me, there is nothing so vomitous. nothing so sickening and vile. nothing so repugnant and putrescent as watching this vehicle of embittered bile trudge up and down the halls of the office day after day spreading her decades old resentment and hostility and flinging it hither, thither, and yon at all of us, whether we deserve it or not. and the very best part...the yummiest part...the extra specialist super goodest most wonderfulest part, is that she disguises it all as sugar coated happy feelgood num num sunshiney bliss bliss. like she couldn't be happier if she tried. like she just loooves her life and everything about it. like she does the things she does because they are the Right Things To Do, not because she is a miserable, evil, selfish, self-serving terribly, terribly unhappy human being with a black and shriveled heart who is just so so jealous and angry at a world that dares to go on around her when hers is just standing still and going nowhere and so she lashes out and tries to make it hurt as much as she hurts. but it never will. it will never be equitable. not in her mind. so it gives her an excuse to go on lashing out and stuffing it down and day after day makes other people pay.
>deeeeeep cleansing breath.<
not that she gets on my nerves or anything. :/
posted by kimberley at 4:42 PM
when boredom overtakes me and i get desperate, i will sometimes look through msnbc's news thingamigger and since there is a dearth of quality news reporting there, the one observation that struck me yesterday is that they look for the absolute worst
pictures of people to stick up there.
case in point: what the hell were they trying to do-- make things even worse
i don't know if this guy has a banana in his pocket or is just really happy to see us, but this is just not flattering:
and if they didn't take this picture while this guy was in the middle of a very
painful BM, i'm the virgin mary:
i think they do it on purpose, personally. as if the news weren't already unattractive enough. it just compounds what i already knew and i hope for the life of me i don't ever make the front page.
posted by kimberley at 11:11 AM
My entry in the 1st Annual John Kerry Fiction Contest
I posted this in two places, and then left to go smoke cigarettes about it. I thought enough about it to conclude that I had both not spent near enough time on this, and spent entirely too much time on this. I know this, and now at least you know that I do. 'Nuff said. Also I found the "contest" by stumbling on A Small Victory
's entry posted at that blog. And I just found another good one at KerryHaters
, who of course had this linked on their site yesterday.
I can't remember where I originally heard about this but the Mudville Gazette
is having a John Kerry Fiction contest, and you can submit your own in the comments at the bottom. I laughed all the way down to the bottom and thought I would try my hand. Go read a couple fictionalized accounts of "Christmas in Cambodia" and add one of your own. Yes, it's beyond the pale if it can be helped. That's exactly the point. I am not sure if the one I wrote is in exactly the same context when posted here, and I am not even sure that it will make sense to any but those who have followed the whole Swift Boats thing and have watched Kerry make whole speeches on c-span. I am pretty sure I know more about John Kerry than most Democrats. I tried to keep it short, but I could have gone on and on. So here's my shot at it, to try and hang with the cool kids:
"Do you want a sandwich?"
The covert ops CIA guy's dead eyes looked out from underneath the hat that he wore at a rakish tilt, an imprecision that mocked the squarely worn Navy cap on my head. I had been coveting that hat since he stepped foot on the boat. I didn't like him. He didn't seem to get that it was *my* boat. He didn't seem to understand that orders to the helmsman went through *me*. He didn't salute and he didn't seem to pay attention to much of what I said. A guy like that just wants to kill people, and probably rob them blind. A guy like that doesn't offer you a sandwich unless he plans to use it against you. He wasn't going to make me the fool, this SOB.
"I only eat heroes," I said, trying not to scoff at his meager rations. Maybe a little too hopefully, I checked his reaction with an inner smugness.
He only let out a little air from his nose then, and looked away. Damn, that hat looked sharp. I might have said the wrong thing. I only wanted to sound tough. I didn't want him to think I was a cannibal. Or that I thought he was a hero, and I wanted to...I really didn't know what I wanted. I just knew I wanted him to like me, to not call me out in front of the guys if I asked him where a fellow could get a hat like that. I felt if I could just be a little more sensitive to him, maybe we could get along. I knew I was going to have to cover that one, and fast.
"I just mean, well...I don't only
eat heroes, but I genuinely like them, if I am at a place that serves them. These sandwiches here though, are the best that I've seen, now that I've considered it. Yes, that has been quite clear all along, and I may have only just now articulated it correctly but that is what I have been saying."
And I made sure to make the perp thumb at him. I started using the perp thumb because it made me seem forceful but not agressive, but I really started practicing after an aide-de-camp told me that my usual favorite, the whirly-point, was convincing people that I was looney tunes. He said I overused it and other strange body language in concert with a bouncing of my weight from left foot to right that made people think I had a weak bladder. He said "to put it nicely". Well, I took his advice but I fired him, too.
So anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I made sure I perp thumbed at him and drew out some of the syllables. He still hadn't looked up from his sandwich, the beast. I was seriously considering threatening him with physical force, truth be told. Here I was, the OIC on a mission into Cambodia on Christmas Eve, being constantly barraged with fire from all sides, from friend and foe alike.
This reminded me of the time I bicycled clandestinely across the border into East Berlin. I made that run, and I would make this one. If I got grounded when we got back to Sa Dec, well so be it. But getting back wasn't going to be easy, and I still had to drop off this inhumane warmonger.
The Cambodians wanted to kill us because we were sneaking into their country. The Vietnamese were shooting at us because we were committing horrible war crimes on their people in our hegemonic imperialist march of brutality across their fair paddies. And our side...well, our side wanted us dead for reasons I am still not at liberty to talk about unless I'm pulling rank on some civilian chump back home on line at the cineplex. And this guy wanted to ignore my carefully reparsed retort? He was a true Nazi, this one. He was like some fascist megalomaniacal dictator, that's what. I was certain he was everything evil, and stood against everything I held dear. I felt myself start to bounce. Left foot, right foot. Left foot, right foot. I'm always ready to pounce, or point. I reminded myself 'ok, watch it with the whirly points. That makes you look funny'
I wasn't going to actually *do* anything,probably, but he had best just think I might mean business, if it came down to it, and he threw the first punch, if I wasn't in a wounded state, or under some other unforeseen onus or circumstance outside my control, but that goes without saying, of course.
I quietly stowed my camera, knowing that my band of brothers would help me reenact this later. Anyway, whatever happens...he draws blood and I am out of here. Three purple hearts'd probably get me so laid back home, and that's where I'll be heading once I get that baby. And nary a one of these purple hearts so far as bad as some I've seen. What's the use of getting a medal without being able to be completely able-bodied afterwards? I might ever need to have the ability to throw them away, or throw out a pitch at a ball game. Or bat for the home team, if they needed me too. I would, if called. That's more than I can say for *this* guy. I better not say anything though, because that aide I fired told me I throw like a girl. Instead, I deftly tried to knock his hat off his stinking cowboy head. He quickly batted my hand away with surprising strength and rose to meet me. I was getting in deeper, but he hadn't heard the last of my diplomacy. JFK feared no man, and I have his same initials. He had something to say, and in the interest of diplomacy, I let him speak his case. I'm a kind and generous officer, after all.
"You touch me again and I'm going to haunt your short few minutes left in this world, you yellow livered college boy. You swallow your pride before you open your mouth at me again, you got that?"
I could see that I was going to have to get the other guys to go against him. I could take his insults, that was no different than every day at the mess hall. If this guy was going to try and smear me for thinking kindly of him even though he is obviously unbalanced and probably lying as a career, though then that was something worse than any of my guys would do. They might not like me. But my guys would still follow orders. Heheh, they had to. When he shoved me back against the bulkhead though, man that hurt. My whole arm went numb, and I knew it was going to bother me for hours after that, and possibly even bruise. I was sort of out of breath, too. I was going to have to set this guy straight.
"I resent your unprovoked attack, and I condemn it in the harshest terms! I am fully willing to knock you cold, but I only meant that I appreciated your offer of a sandwich and thought it was very kind, sir. And if you had let me finish, I was going to ask to see your hat up close. I like the style, and I'm going to be doing some filming tomorrow back at the ambush site and I thought..."
I used my secret weapon on him then, as I said it. I gave him the artillery point. Arcing and beautiful, my best polished rhetorical flourish. Unabashedly aggressive, I even launched a double artillery point right after drawing out a whirly point from a perp thumb. I told him in no uncertain terms that I thought very highly of the work we were doing here behind the Cambodian border, where I felt a searing pain in my arm that I wouldn't soon forget. I told him it made me really realize that the two of us were the same, that we were both scarred now by the hell that war was. I made sure I drew out the syllables extra long when I said that the Khmer Rouge would loooose, and weeeeee would win. I told him that somehow we'd survive, together even though President Nixon was denying we were here. I knew he must feel deep shame for his war crimes, and probably hated Nixon too. So I let him have it all, you know. I had to give him every chance before I acted, so he would know he was wrong about me and it was nothing personal if I laid him out. That's just sometimes what you have to do if you want to speak truth to power.
I had saved my big guns for last and I thought that maybe, if the timing was right, and nothing was against me, and I thought the other guys would go along with it, and I saw no other reason not to, and he looked away for a second, I might take a swing at him. But he didn't, he just kept looking at me with those dead eyes.
I knew it was time to act, so I straightened up and tried to time my lanky right arm with the bounce from right foot to left. I swung as hard as I could, but my first shot missed.
I barely saw him move, but I sure felt his hardened fist in my gut that doubled me over, and possibly, hopefully, caused something inside to break. I couldn't be sure, but I wasn't getting up just to be safe. He took his hat off and crammed it down on my head.
"You spineless nothing, We're in Sa Dec, not Cambodia. Nixon isn't president yet. You're even worse at piloting this boat than you are at persuasive discourse or fighting.
You can have the blasted hat, just take me back to base before you get us all killed."
I took him back to base, but experiences like these, with the insane and lying hawks who just won't let peace happen, told me everything I needed to know about this war, and the evil Nixites running it secretly, before taking office. I mean after that it was like they almost wanted me gone, like they knew I was on to them. I kept the hat though, as a memento. It's my lucky hat and I call it that 'cause I've been lucky.
posted by M@ at 12:56 PM
death in suburbia
the sadist who lives behind me must die. he must die a horrid and wretched death. something involving a great deal of pain. something prolonged and twisted. i would be most pleased to be the administrator of said death. he is still
working on that monstrosity of a house of his. seriously, this house is like some living, breathing thing. it's enormous. way too big for this neighborhood. and he's building on. and building and building and building. already the house reaches the very edge of his property. this is perhaps my only consolation in the whole thing. if he reaches the point where his walls are touching the fence surrounding his property, where else has he to go? why, up of course. though i'm sure it's easily already 3 stories high. i don't think that matters to him, however. and the thing i really
don't understand is that he lives there alone. he's divorced, (probably because his wife couldn't take the constant additions) he has one child, but that child is grown and out torturing people in his own neighborhood.
i do see the sadist's mother there occasionally. and by "see" i mean "sense". this is because i'm fairly certain she is the walking undead. her dark yellow & leathery flesh hangs from her body. you can see her skull from under thinning hair. when she smiles (which is rare) the blood in my veins runs cold and i am faced with a sudden urge to cross myself. and yet she still finds it within her to wear short mini-skirts and low cut blouses. mine eyes have seen the gory of her strikingly torpid form. ech.
he's a dentist. his office is downtown, next to mine. however, it's NEVER open. ever. i've yet to see it open. so i'm not sure how he makes the money to do all these wunnerful renovations. i do occasionally see his mother going in and out of the front door of his office with a number of packages. big packages. so you can bet that my over-active imagination has an explanation at the ready. my theory is that he's either: A) running an illegal organ trade B) dealing various and sundry mind bending drugs; of which both he and his corpse-like mother partake or C) taking his victims to his office in the dark of night, killing them with his dental burs and drill bits and chopping their bodies into itty bitty pieces and stuffing them in boxes, which his norman-bates-come-lately mother then picks up and distributes to the zombies residing in that obscenely heinous house of his for their weekly rations. personally, i'm going with C. that or the unmentioned D) all of the above.
at any rate, waking before eight in the morning to the sound of his hammer pounding away at the latest project is not my favorite way to awaken. and if i could you know i would but no one will let me try. plus, i'm afraid he'll take one look at me and decide i need a "root canal". IF
you get my drift...>wink< >wink< >nudge< >nudge<.
posted by kimberley at 1:06 PM
and people say we here in seattle don't have our priorities straight.
...the hungry burglar gobbled a box of Creamsicles, six shrimp kabobs, about a dozen mini corndogs, half a large package of Costco lunch meats, two fruit drinks, a glass of milk, a dozen clumps of frozen cookie dough and several large handfuls of M&Ms.... "I have four kids, and all of them could have been exposed to who knows what," Sanchez said.
unless her children were coated in bacon grease and chocolate syrup before bed, i don't think she need have worried.
posted by kimberley at 10:05 PM
me: blah blah blah rant rant rant DNC convention
my sister: did you say D & C convention?
me: uh, no. D....N....C.
my sister: oh. so NOT
dilation & curettage.
me: uh no...ALTHOUGH...
ahem. maybe i should
have had a D&C at the DNC
. based on that site, kerry is just the man to see after the job. then i could order my "i had an abortion" t-shirt and just be done with it.
:/ i don't understand it. and what's more, i don't understand the people who understand it.
posted by kimberley at 2:21 PM
i've been MIA. and i figured i should post something PDQ. otherwise M@ would be pissed and BMOTA. hahaha i just cracked myself up! because...he...has this thing with those little WTFGDI things. like, last night he said WTFGDILOLBBQ! and ...i'm still not sure what that means. but i was tempted to respond with:
"oh yeah, i totally feel you. i mean, ASAP SCUBA! NASA and YMCA!!! am i right? am i right??"
erm. anyway. because i have an interest in
contributing to this blog, i thought i should probably post something before he kicked me out. plus, i'm trying to
fuck him anti-partisan
make him happy.
so, without further ado, my post.
so how are you guys? good? good. me? i'm doing fine, thanks.
well, that was nice. here, have a link. this is weird. i used to kind of groove to him. and i'm not ashamed to admit it. i was young. he was young. and sane. anyway, click the link. the jehovah's witness formerly known as prince.
posted by kimberley at 10:52 AM
Links in lieu of content
Ok, just for the sake of posting again here are some links to what I've been reading and agreeing with and laughing at:
From Max Boot 5 days ago
, but a pretty good rundown of the nuance of Kerry on foreign policy. An even better read now that Kerry has said he would have voted to for authority for the war in Iraq even without the WMD. Good for you John, way to take a strong stance about it...again. Hmm. Would he have gone to war as president though? You bet
he might have.
has some hilarious stuff if you like political photoshopping humor.
is always good fun, especially when there's actually a debate running. I root for the NRO guys, but really how often do you come across a genial debate of ideas from both sides rather than hysterical sloganeering?
Speaking of NRO
, man are they great. The Corner and The Kerry spot are frequently updated blog-style and there is a bulk of new material each week. After I've read their current stuff I like to go through their archives and find even more reasons that they are an indispensable component to a well informed point of view. Examples are too numerous to mention, but I promise they'll be made available to you in context if you demand that I back up a position (sadly, hardly anyone ever asks). At the risk of sounding preachy or mind controlled, I can't recommend them enough. For anyone with a leftward lean to their politics, this is the best place to go if you aren't afraid of leaving with a little doubt about your position on any given issue. If you are a conservative, you should be quite happy to have them as an accomplice in rational argument.
Hitchens has a good article about terror warnings at Slate here
. I will let Mr. Hitchens speak for himself.
has somehow gathered as much copy of Senator Kerry's public words in one place as I've yet seen, including the waffles
home page. I scrolled down past this year's primary, when Kerry started "introducing himself" and just kind of sifted through. Gee, I don't know why
anyone would say he is a liberal.
Oh. Maybe it's his voting record
in the Senate. It's a good place to just wander around in, but it has the votes broken down pretty well and gives you plenty of information for further searching. The place seems pretty bipartisan and dry so here's your chance to not have to de-spin information before consuming it. Look, what do you know? A reasonable search turns up...a liberal voting record! What do you know
Jim Rassman, the swift boat veteran on Kerry's side, has written an article defending Kerry
. I admit to being intrigued by the whole thing, and it is way too complex and developing for me to say anything conclusively. I find the whole thing less important since there is a book being sold behind it, and it is going to descend into even uglier depths before everyone decides to pay attention to something else. But I find Rassman's defense kind of toothless, even though it has an indignant bluster to it. Its main line of argument are the sources and timing of the funders of the Swifties, and claims that all 200 decorated vets except he and Kerry are making stories up and steadfastly refuses to even allow that any of them ever even served
with Kerry. Unless you were on
the boat, you could have no knowledge of the greatness of Kerry or proof against it. More disingenous disgust about "smear tactics" and "attacks on combat veterans". I'm waiting to see if the rumors about the Brown Books are true before I buy Rassman and McCain's shared disgust at smearing a combat vet by Republican...um...decorated combat vets. Gee, there's a logical beartrap huh. I know Rassman is disgusted by smear tactics because he seems to choose his words sooooooo carefully when talking about the character of the men making these claims (again, there is very little substance to actually counter the claims themselves).
Rassman also claims immunity from all suspicion of partisanship based on being "a republican" and also concludes with a delicious tautology: Allegations that Kerry was not a war hero and did not deserve his medals are clearly false because Kerry is a war hero who won his medals. Not too many specific refutations of any of the Swifties claims either, no mention of Cambodia, and apparently after he came home Kerry never even spoke out against anything except the Nixon
related stuff. He even makes sure to take a couple swipes at Bush's record, though not by name of course. I keep watching this story and the blogs like Captain's Quarters
who are following this in a much more active sense. I find it interesting to watch it unfolding, but I agreed with the Democrats back when they were adamantly claiming that service or lack thereof didn't make any difference when a bona fide, no questions war hero was running on the other side of the aisle in '92 or '96. I'd like to hear more about Kerry's service in Congress, where the experience matches the job he is applying for a little more closely.
Oh, I could go on. But if you've made it this far down, you're probably itching for me to shut up. I concur, and conclude.
posted by M@ at 6:38 AM
what do you THINK!!!!
Ahhh, to bathe in the short term and illusory evidence of one's own genius. I have moved on from the FtheVote thought exception fault error I experienced, thanks for your concern but there ended up being no brain hemorrhaging. I still think it's a good idea to make the Tshirts, for selling to the College Kids in Lawrence.
Random things I saw a few minutes of on cable TV tonight:
Er, well I wanted
to see the Hitchens installment of this series
on Trio, a british cable channel show that made a bunch of documentaries about Texas and Texas culture. I watched a little of The Texas Solution, the one about the justice system there, and gun control issues. Yahoo! Well suffice it to say that Texas can't be explained very well through a British worldview and try as he might to be patiently bemused he seemed much more interested in finding the bemusing things local to Texas and using them to illustrate his broader point, which seemed to be that once Bush took over as governor, Texas suddenly became "radically" Texan. Ah well. I can't say that I understand the folks in Lancashire either, especially not when I see them on TV.
Pat Buchanan, guest hosting Scarborough Country and the issue was giving noncitizens the vote. The issue was voting rights for noncitizens and whatever you think about the issue, the Pro Immigrant Voting hack they brought in was just blatantly sidestepping cross examination to the point of Pat Buchanan just repeating the question insistently and loudly "What do you think
?". Not that I want Pat Buchanan asking the questions necessarily, but it would be nice to see more of this in mainstream journalism on issues that don't have an air of Comedy Central's Crossballs.
New rule everybody. If you are asked a Yes or No question, the acceptable first word out of your mouth if you plan to then give rational qualifiers or a basis for your first word, is restricted to Yes or No.
Bill Clinton, hawking his book on The Daily Show. I flipped. It wasn't funny.
Today's Bush Stump Speech Appearance in Whereversville USA. Townhall Meeting. Pft. I spent a minute or two beating him to the end of his lines. I think it's a good stump speech and he delivers it well. And I know I'm not the guy he's talking to. I'm already on board. I flipped.
Teen Wolf. Flip.
I could go on to list the episodes of Three's Company, Old soap operas, crappy movies, crappy movies in spanish, cooking channels showing high stakes celebrity Texas Hold 'em, Travel Channel showing cooking tips, Animal Planet showing Funniest Pet Videos of dogs playing poker and on and on. I won't because I flipped
Bill Hicks, the one about how censored he was. Outlaw Comic
. I've seen it before and I am a huge Hicks fan. I bought the man's cds after
I discovered P2P. I loved seeing old footage of the man and people talking about the man. But Janeane Garafolo narrating the whole thing, hammering over and over the fact that he was *gasp* censored. Not for being too right, or being a target of oppressive Reaganism or really even for being too hot for TV as they clearly intended to show. I just don't buy that part. I applaud Hicks for his unremorseful upholding of his ideals and his principles but if you're not willing at all to censor yourself, then expect to be censored in a way just as uncompromising as you hold yourself. Everyone knew the guy was funny as hell, and they gave him more than one shot at being the corporate product you have to accept that you become when you do things like book yourself on David Letterman. Too bad, but really what real fan of what Hicks was about would wanted to have seen the corporatization of him that would surely have happened if he made it there?
I had so much more to say. I have way too much TV garbage in my head though. I think I'm going to go look for Skittle's new gum. I will have to update later after I do the day's requisite scouring of the internet. Blah Blah. Blah.
posted by M@ at 3:53 AM
Somehow it escaped my attention
I hate the weekend. Not much news happens, and even less commenting on the news happens unless you have cable. All of my favorite periodicals are at rest and I have read everything current on them, save a few nuggets that trickle in. Monday is a good day to the unemployed.
Blogs are a good accessory to this craving for input and news. It is not so much that blogs give better breaking news, but there is a serious dearth of places in the mainstream to find ball breaking statements decimating spin and conventional wisdom. I consider myself well informed, and well opinionated but I definitely see the wisdom in trying to keep myself reigned in because there are plenty of people out there saying what I already think, except they phrase it much better. I intend to get better at seeking out original places to put my opinions down, but for now it is clear that I should stick to passing on good links I found at other sites, and pointing out those sites as good places to go for links and opinions.
One of the first blogs I found on my own, more or less, was All Things Jennifer, at her ATJpolitics edition
. Somehow the fact that she has been kind enough to send traffic our way with a link eluded the part of my brain that thinks up polite ways to appreciate such thoughtful consideration of our new little project. Kim has had her blogrolled for a while but this is definitely a blog that is on par with Punditchick or take your pick of good writers, and it deserves mention if I am excusing myself from coming up with good copy on good topics by claiming Other Blogs.
I tend to check the political edition spin-off first but her all around blogging skills are featured at her Mothership, All Things Jennifer.
Another blog we've had on the list for a while, that I was proud to come across by accident and not the link of a popdex top100 blog, also one that is sharp and witty is Ergoparty
. This one is regularly good for links that didn't show up on Fark today too. Not necessarily a political blog but I get the idea she would not be left without an opinion should you attempt to engage her. You probably better have yours well thought out though, I don't know if she suffers fools gladly or not. Well, I take that back because she hasn't banned me from commenting there.
Um, a link from Memepool.com
took me to FTheVote.com
, a site that can only be seen safely by staunch conservatives after reading and willfully suspending disbelief against the disclaimer that precedes the content. It is supposed to be funny first, no matter how seriously it ends up becoming a legitimate movement.
Luckily I am almost completely immune to being offended against my will and so I can report the funny part. After clicking past the wittily phrased legalese the first paragraph reads like this:
SEXY LIBERALS OF THE U.S. UNITE in taking back the government from the sexually repressed, right-wing, zealots in control! Everyone knows liberals are hotter than conservatives - we look hotter, we dress hotter, our ideas are hotter, and we are infinitely hotter in the sack. We must use our sexual appeal to our advantage, as one more weapon in our already diverse arsenal. By stripping conservatives out of their clothes, we can also strip them of their power.
Alllll righty. Funny is funny but you can't just go around acting smug about a joke that needs complete dismissal of reality to work. It becomes its own kind of unintentional comedy. Liberals are hotter looking and hotter in the sack? And everyone knows this? I think it might be just as absurd to claim that everyone knows conservatives are the hottest, but I can easily foul their whole thing up with the magic of bullet lists. In fact, I think these same lists could be used to make the case that if Republican women were just more willing to have casual sex for a vote like a bonobo monkey trades it for a chunk of meat or a crackhead trades it for crack we could keep from having to use reason and patient debate over facts to win this year:
Democrats that foil the "Liberals are hot" and support the "Liberals are most likely aliens masquerading as humans" premise
- Helen Thomas
- Janet Reno
- James Trafficant
- Most young liberal women (yes, by all accounts there are some real hotties out there dressing hot and voting Democrat--yes I'm talking about you Natalie Portman but think about it. Are the hot dressing ones usually anything but apolitical?)
- Ted Kennedy
- John F'n Kerry
- Carville (note his inability to fuck Mary Matalin liberal)
- Alan Colmes
- Bob Gephardt
- Mike Dukakis
- Jim Hightower
- Al Franken
- The entire Osbourne family
- Eleanor Clift
- A whole host of other people who are liberal and proud of being "unbeautiful"
Republicans whose virtues we could use as loss leaders in the polls:
- Heather Nauert
- Kellyanne Fitzpatrick
- Most young conservative women (again, I know. I know)
- Arnold Scwarzennegger (reportedly a self-starter on this front)
- James Woods
- Kid Rock (No word on how Pamela Anderson votes, but we've all seen Tommy's cock. I say she votes liberal.)
- Sarah Michelle Gellar (pleasant surprise)
- Laura Ingram
- Tom Selleck
- Bruce Willis
- everyone pictured here
- George P. Bush
- LeAnn Rimes
- Countless others who come out pretty well on the Hot or Not scale but somehow aren't completely vapid and detached from politics.
Now I realize that there are some otherworldly looking Republicans. And there are some damned attractive Democrats. I know there are a million different kinds of "hot" and at least two camps for every one of those names up there. One camp says hot, and the other says not. So I have no illusions that I have proven anything at all. Maybe this is all just a way to sell more "I had an abortion" Tshirts.
I dunno. It could have been funnier if it were more bipartisan. I think that's where the JibJab guys got it right. There were things for everybody to laugh at. Both sides ended up having to laugh with
it before they could laugh at
it. This one just begs to be shredded simply for ruining what could have been a good joke.
I just wanted to say...can't we all just agree to keep fucking according to who pimples our goose like it's always been? Otherwise it could just turn into another two Americas, where there are Gets and Gets not. Ha! Imagine a world where I can offer a peek at my ass if you're willing to sign my petition. Where the hot interns of the world have more access to the President than I do. Oh wait. So I guess what I'm saying is---wait a tick. It suddenly occurred to me that the most likely source for this website is...Ugly Republicans using mass media to make liberal hotties more receptive! This is straight out of the Packwood playbook! Effing, effing genius. Good luck to you fellows. But long post for nothing. Go back to bed, sorry to have bothered you.
. I've checked around their site. I note that my state is listed as Solid Republican, which means either that hot liberal chicks should not even bother or that they will be expected to endure the utmost in depravity in order to change votes here. I'm thinking of a T-shirt that says "Go ahead, try and fuck me liberal." for the bar scene in Lawrence. To their credit, they've got some decent looking people pictured. It doesn't seem to be a trick to get us naked and steal our clothes, only returning them if we sign affidavits supporting "regime change". They just seem to have that lovely innocence and naivete that is so attractive to people who are just out to get somebody to lay them. I'm reserving my absolute judgement I suppose. Mostly because, who really gives a shit? The message board is mostly people claiming to be conservative either laughing at the site, condemning the site, or looking for a screw. The bush hating diatribes that follow are anything but arousing. I left messages like "I can't wait until we're doing this but we're naked" and "I can't wait for this orgy to start". They've gotten some press I assume. (that I somehow missed. I would have been on the lookout for "politically sexy events" such as they advertise though, without question) and they have a message board and 127 supposed hot liberals willing to screw you in exchange for signing a pledge sheet
(PDF file warning) which is serious yet nonbinding, and also supposedly just for fun and games. It seems to only pepper it's "remember, this is only for a joke" statements just at the points where you start to think "hmm is it a good idea to give away sex for a nonbinding joke signature?" but then they do still have a message board, they have a straight face when they say
Get the Pledge Sheet Signed
It is best to whip out the FTV Pledge Sheet before any sexual contact. [ha. ha. curses, foiled again --me] Make it known why you feel so strongly about ousting Bush from office and explain what you are willing to do to see that it happens in November.
and they do encourage you you to show up to an event and they want you to register and get on the bus. So I'm just left confused. Are they serious or not? They seem to be completely serious about leveraging your body all the way past you doing it and writing in about it, but not serious if you question why because ha ha, seriously advocating this would be nuts and how could you think that! Are they serious? Is the joke maybe on me for being late to the party and even bothering to blog about this? Augh! If it's not a joke, what are they selling? I'll end up sorry I wondered so hard once I've clicked through all the stuff on their page, I know it. If I don't bore you with more details about it rest assured it only means I came to realize it is boring myself. I will still have suffered many moments of nuance before figuring out what I really think about it but I will spare you, the likely already informed reader, the details of my catching up.
posted by M@ at 11:34 PM
GDI, WTF and other sentiments
First off, thanks to Andrew Quinn at Teenage Pundit
, who has linked us. He seems to be fairly left thinking but he hasn't lost his cool with me in e-mail yet so perhaps there is a young hope for the Democrat party if he doesn't end up finding conservatism on his own. Ah, to be young.
I don't mean for this to be anything but a non sequitur and any accusation that it is a segue be damned! Victor Davis Hanson wrote another great article which is posted at NRO. That is more or less where I start the bulk of my google adventures. They seem to have the best reality checks around and I'd subscribe to their website if I had the cash. It is called A Return To Childhood
, and was so well stated that I was moved to both link to Mr. Hanson's website and e-mail him to say so. He wrote me back, simply: Thank you for your support. I didn't expect even that, so right on.
I watched most of a chilling and disgusting documentary on DiscoveryTimes tonight. The Uncivil War, which was about the civil unrest in Liberia and the outing of the murderous Lurds of President Taylor in '03. Horrible, horrible stuff to watch, some of it, and I am not linking to anything about it for your own good. But those of you with cast iron stomachs and an interest in tiny countries that ostensibly mean nothing to the United States should watch it if they flip to it with nothing else to do.
I have 5 blogs so far called "Me Myself and I" in some form or other. I'm keeping them in Notepad until I have an impressive enough cache. Then I am unleashing them in one mass dump of mediocre blogtitle. Hmm, thats going to make it look like I am a webringmaster. The circus it will be!
Oh, there's a bunch of other stuff but it'll keep. Right now I've got eight million links to look at.
posted by M@ at 12:17 AM
No sooner did I speak
...than I came across this story
. Sigh. I had heard about Herr Hart before the Tennessee primary, and was dismayed to see that the RNC missed the chance to marginalize him by backing a candidate, any candidate, in the race for the chance to defeat a longtime incumbent Democrat in that district.. So this bigoted guy stumping for eugenics and the new face of the KKK runs his scam of being a Republican well enough to beat the belated write-in campaign against him, which failure of depresses me. Not that Hart will somehow wrest legitimate power away from a real Republican that would have otherwise been able to beat the incumbent; we can only assume no one else was backed because the seat was viewed as already lost. But I don't want this guy in my party, and I don't want the comical baggage that comes along with letting any hack grab the spotlight. Eugenics? Come on
. We spend all this time trying to convince the few minorities we can to give conservatism a fair shake because we truly and honestly believe that all humans are created equally and we ought to act exactly as if they are, no more and no less. And here comes this buffoon, ready to say all sorts of dumbass things that I don't believe, and that hardly anyone else in the party believes. But the Springer society will have to have him on and the liberals will have to say you see there, that is the real nature of Republicanism! Conservatives need to stand up and denounce this guy. I don't know if this will keep likely Republican voters at home on Nov. 3 but it seems like it would. I hope there is a turnout to conspicuously vote for Bush but not for Hart. Like Bush said at the Urban League
, there is still work to be done. This is one of those things. Hart is a goon, and we've booted better men than him to keep our ranks dignified.
posted by M@ at 1:20 AM
Hey, thanks to the folks over at KerryHaters
, a great and growing blogosphere against Kerry who have not only linked us but mentioned us in a post. Go there and see it isn't just you, John Kerry is highly distasteful on almost every level.
I also added a Blogs for Bush
bunch of links over on my sidebar. I decided it would be stupid to write here about current events and pretend to be unbiased.
I realize that this could sort of pigeonholes this blog for some of you, just those two additions. I would like to call attention to our resident Independent, Kimosabe. Her sidebar is the check and balance you need to keep reading here. I think most of the best bloggers out there are the conservative political bloggers, and hey I am a conservative so there you go. I bet we could still hang out, even if you hate Bush. I would try and convince you to vote for Nader. And I'll buy the first round ;)
I'm back to surfing for the good stuff. Oh and maybe it is immature but I'm linking waffles
to John Kerry. Ha!
posted by M@ at 12:15 AM
yes, in case you missed it when i said i would be marking alabama
off the list of places i would never, ever be caught dead living (or let's face it, visiting. overnight, anyway. or let's face it, more than a couple hours, wink wink nudge nudge) we should now add ohio
to the list.
at this rate, i'll be chartering a rocketship for the moon in no time.
posted by kimberley at 12:03 PM
Ha, I love that flash video. You always have the goodest links...I haven't heard them on the radio yet here but they deserve a shot. Folks, a healthy dose of cynical nihilism is good for your soul now and then. It makes the jokes truly funny.
I grabbed a new book at a friends house. The Large, The Small and the Human Mind
by Roger Penrose
. It's probably too smart for me. I'll have something to say about it though, I'm sure.
Most popular blog name:
Everytime I look at the recently updated blogs on Blogger I see 12 or 13 blogs called some spelling or other of "Me, Myself and I". I am going to start keeping a list. Maybe link to them all on the sidebar. What do you think?
Interesting news in F1:
Jenson Button has signed to drive for the Williams BMW F1 team next year. This is good since Button has won me over this season at BAR and with Juan Pablo Montoya leaving for Mclaren I wasn't at all sure I was still going to be able to root for Williams. Mark Webber and Jenson Button should be a good team, since Frank Williams likes to pit two young and fast drivers against each other. Pop Culture anchor: Jenson is married to Louise Griffiths
, who was a contestant on a british reality show, Fame Academy.
posted by M@ at 10:20 PM
take it like that
if you haven't seen it, you need to. if you have, you need to see it again. make sure your sound is on. and up.
i love death.
to offend. not suitable for young audiences. rated "M" for mature. graphic in nature. also, naughty by nature. any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. any resemblance between the above and my own views is non-deterministic. the question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the viewer. no purchase necessary. shading within a garment may occur. use only in well-ventilated area. check here if tax deductible. i like you. do you like me? check the box. yes or no. some equipment shown is optional. price does not include taxes. no anchovies unless otherwise specified. restaurant package, not for resale. wash. rinse. repeat. first pull up, then pull down. insert tab "a" into slot "b". call toll free before digging. driver does not carry cash. decision of judges is final.
posted by kimberley at 7:01 PM
The Arrow of Time=Chatkill
"Well...what do you think about charge parity violations in B mesons?"
Universe Today Makes M@ Feel Validated For Bringing It Up: CP Violation in B meson Breakthrough
---Me, out of left field
I really do say that. It's my stock suggestion for a topic when the conversation lags from way back in the day. I don't claim mastery of particle physics by a long shot, but for some reason it is one of the concepts that stuck with me from reading pop physics books.
There has been only small laboratory evidence so far for there being more to the story of matter and antimatter being exact opposites of each other. The reason that we see mostly matter in the universe around us and not much antimatter is a big mystery. The idea that time only flows in one direction is assumed in most cases, Yet the proof is difficult to come by. Tiny measured differences in the way B mesons decay compared to their antiparticles are examples of equations that can't be reversed and done backwards as most other particle equations can, hence pointing to a single direction of the flow of time. That's the way it was told to me around the campfire anyway.
In the less abstract, the notion that matter is somehow better at not getting annihilated than its opposition is a prime mover in the entire
scheme of things. Some of the first sorting out done after the Big Bang (what little we can say about that
) was a giant deciding battle of sorts between matter and its almost exact opposite. Sort of like the universe being shaped by a battle between Good and Evil. Or Yin and Yang. Heady stuff. First things first, that antimatter be gotsin' ta go
. So I like rattling it off as if I didn't already have it prepared. It sounds smart. Because...well I guess because it is. I actually *can* talk about it, on at least a laymans conceptual level. Don't ask me to do the math.
No one usually wants to talk about it though. It sounds like I'm joking anyway. I usually get an emoticon in response. So imagine my thorough joy at coming across this article on a recent breakthrough in explaining a little more about why the universe is the way it is on a fundamental level. There is a place especially for talking about this!
posted by M@ at 4:49 AM
*THIS* is where media bias should rear its ugly head
I read the article twice to confirm. Nowhere does it say "Obviously, this girl is a complete fucking moron who should not have a license". I guess that fact sort of jumps out at you anyway. But it doesn't appear that anyone even bothered to tell *her*.
DesMoinesRegister.com | Fire & Rescue
posted by M@ at 3:48 AM
well, I really must tell you that it made a new man out of me
(click photo for larger view)
Also available here
is the glow in the dark "kiss me" necktie, LIVE sea monkeys (infinitely preferable to the other
sea monkeys), and hitler heads. WHO could resist? i mean, really! they just don't make comicbook adverts the way they used to. i remember saving up pennies to send away for some of those magic tricks from the "abracadabra magic shop"
. what. a. thrill.
posted by kimberley at 2:47 PM
Nobody knows, the trouble they feel
The Onion | 73 Percent Of U.S. Livestock Show Signs Of Clinical Depression
The study also noted the average U.S. cow's tendency to emit low, mournful moans.
Dr. Theodore Nelson, author of The Slow Slaughter: Growing Up Livestock In An Uncaring World, has made combating bovine ennui his personal mission.
"Sadly, much of our nation's livestock feel they have no future," Nelson said. "They see life as short, brutal, and bereft of purpose. They may appear to be functioning normally—eating feed, producing milk, and generating high volumes of fertilizer—but inside, many are just waiting to die."
now really. who among us hasn't been found guilty of standing around emitting low, mournful moans a time or two? hmmm?
posted by kimberley at 11:53 PM
i've been following this story
for some time now. the debate rages on and i suspect it will continue until my eyes bleed and i get sick of hearing about it. but for now i find it interesting. i can't decide who i think is right or wrong. or rather, who is more right or wrong
as there doesn't seem to be any clear case of black and white here. certainly if you buy a piece of hardware it's yours and the company you purchased it from shouldn't have the right to tell you what to do with it from that point on. i also don't believe they should hold the monopoly on this hardware. true, they built a better moustrap and they built it before anyone else. but just because they were the first ones to build it doesn't mean they should hold exclusive rights to all future blueprints. i don't think they should be so tightfisted with it that anyone else who even attempts to go one better is slapped with a lawsuit and thrown in jail never to see the light of day. that's just greedy and underhanded.
but i also see Apple's p.o.v in that they told Real "no" when first approached about working together and no means no and does not mean, "see what you can do about working around it and hacking into our system anyway" and i would be pretty pissed off if i found out this corporate entity was basically raping my hardware looking for a way around that "no." plus, Real Networks is pretty much crap. i'm no fan of their software and never have been. perhaps if it were anyone but them i wouldn't be so bothered by what they were doing. however, they did try to go about it legally first and were shut down. still, the whole concept of that bothers me. if you're told no and you don't get the answer you like you don't look for a way around it by resorting to illegal methods. even if the greedy bastards might deserve it. it's just not right. you should fight might with right. yes, Apple is a powerful company and Real Networks probably doesn't stand a snowballs chance in hell of winning if they were to go about it legally. but resorting to these egregiously shallow tactics just further carries them into the already murky depths of poor business they've already been wading in for far too long. somebody has to be the bigger man here. i guess it's left up to the consumer to step up to the plate.
at any rate, i'll continue to follow the story...no matter how disgusted i am with both sides.
posted by kimberley at 2:27 PM