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    "The slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts" ~ George Orwell





    "An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible." ~ Unknown

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    Wednesday, July 28, 2004

    not suitable for impressionable audiences


    i actually saw a few minutes of this "dnc" that m@ speaks of. and while he may not be talking about it, i'm certainly willing.

    first of all, the thing that struck me right off the bat is that there was some free flowing prozac in that room. i mean, they didn't just take their morning dose. they brushed with it. they added an extra capsule or two to their morning coffee, afternoon tea, and dinner cocktails. i think a few of them actually injected prozac granules straight into their eyeballs. my first thought was that i had stumbled onto a botox convention by mistake. but then someone who sounded on the verge of hysteria started shouting something about taking back america and that theory went right out the window. not to say that i think there was a dearth of botox in the room, but i digress.

    keep in mind, this has nothing to do with political affiliation. i'm disgusted with all of them. i think both parties are equally capable of fucking up the country. i was just watching that...that...display and it reached something in me. it wasn't my sense of patriotism. it wasn't my desire to kick my civic duty into high gear. and it certainly wasn't a mind-bending, orgasmic state of arousal wherein i would whip my head back and forth while pinching my nipples and screaming, "oh yes! YES! DEMS in 2004! Yesss! Taaake BAcK AmeRiCa OBAMA! YES! EDWARDS! YES! KERRRRRY OMYGODYESSSSS!" as some of those ladies seemed on the verge of doing. no. what it reached in me--what it awakened and kindled in the deepest, darkest part of me--was my healthy sense of self preservation, otherwise known as: FEAR. i was scared to death. my eyes were bugging out, i couldn't swallow, and i was breathing rapidly. i just kept thinking, "my god, these people. they're so...excited. and happy. and optimistic and seemingly oblivious to how fucked up this country really is."

    i sat there glued to the television set and as the screaming, wailing, smiling throngs of shiny happy people pushed closer and closer together and the excitement reached a fever pitch of prozac and valium-induced brotherly love while hands of every color of the rainbow were clasped and upraised in a common bond of dedication and unification and a few other "tions" for good measure, it occurred to me that i would be terrified for my life if i were in that crowd. i would be afraid they would turn on me and converge upon my body and feed like the vampires or zombies in so many hollywood "b" movies. i was watching, and as the camera panned, i could actually see blood dripping out of the corner of hillary clinton's mouth as she stood smiling a ghastly smile and held sway over the lower level undead below.



    i can't say for sure what aroused this fear in me. perhaps i was sure they would notice that i couldn't smile quite that big. perhaps they would see through whatever smile i could muster and realize that i was one of the doubters; the great unwashed who believes this country is going to hell in a designer handbasket and the DNC or the RNC or QVC or KFC or whatever initials you want to throw at it probably won't be able to make a whole lot of difference in the long run. i had a certainty that they could smell that on a person; like some cheap dimestore knockoff of the real thing they would catch a whiff of my forced optimism and then turn on me to begin the feeding. whatever it was, it was at that point i flipped the power to the t.v. off, thereby breaking their momentary hold over me and returning me to my senses. such as they are. i don't think i should watch anymore coverage. and if i do, i definitely don't think i should watch it alone. and if i am, i definitely hope the call doesn't come in the middle of the night. the one in which a really happy and cheerful sounding young intern bubbling with optimism announces to me through a crackling phoneline, "the DNC...it's coming from...INSSSSSIDE THE HOUSE!!"



    posted by kimberley at 3:49 PM   2 comments links to this post

    2 Comments:

    At 7:50 PM, Blogger M@ said...

    I'm *still* laughing and that picture ROCKS! I am asking permission to post that in other places heheh...

     
    At 8:27 PM, Blogger kimberley said...

    ha! like where? the DNC?

     

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